S.P. News

I'm looking forward to Blue Carpet Treatment

New Lids Fresh Goods Fridays October release...I'm pretty sure this is the cap Cameron sports in the One Eyed Willy video...BALLLIN!!!

VH1 Hip-Hop Honors airs next Tuesday at 9 PM; New York heads rejoice.

This is fucking atrocious.

Rap City continues to be the biggest piece of shit on earth. Last week, when it came on after "The Center," (yes, I flip through "The Center," and you know goddamn well why), I thought maybe it was going back to its two-hour playlength. I was wrong. It got downgraded to the slot BEFORE reruns of "The Wayans Bros." It's now back to the hour before 106 & Park, but it's still AWFUL. J-Nicks, Mad Linx, Q45 and whatever other STUPID NAMED idiot personality that is NOT Big Tigger should get dummysmacked for the rest of his pathetic life. The studio looks like it was designed by Queer Eye, half the time the guests don't spit, and when they do, the hosts LOOK LIKE IDIOTS BECAUSE THEY DON'T FREESTYLE. This is a travesty. Tigger should be knocking people out. Rap City is obviously not a priority for BET anymore, and that sucks. Now I have to watch "Direct Effect" and "Sucker Free", neither of which are cool, and I'm pissed.

Hey Fuckface, This Is My Nude Beach, at London's Frieze Art Fair.

A cool label, still going strong. Can't wait to pick up Kid Koala's novel about a clarinet-playing mosquito.

Common feat Sadat X - 1999

Hi-Tek's got a new album coming out soon. His debut, "Hi-Teknology" was weak. This is from "Soundbombing II", back in the day (remember Rawkus Records??).

Music for Likkle Tykes

He's the Juggernaut, bitch!

First off, Raffi, last name Cavoukian, really is the juggernaut, bitch. That gangster of children's entertainment got more spins (does a cassette tape spin? I guess the little wheely things do) in my youth than Planxty, "Illy-itch", and Peedi Peedi put together. "Everything Grows" was an absolute MONSTER and "Baby Beluga" was one of the flyest subliminal dis tracks ever.

Sordid Puppy grows and grows, and so does his appetite for wax-dispatching titans of Raffi's ilk. You, discerning reader, check Foodmantooth because you respect our steez -- we got taste for days, we blaze and amaze, we eat leek soup, et cetera, et cetera.

Lupe got a B from Slothra. Several posts ago, I was clintin' about how Food & Liquor had become this hyped-up enormity that could never live up to the press it was getting. After copping F & L the day it dropped, I was disappointed to find my fears realized. It's a good album, certainly, but it's not the classic that I had hoped it would be. Lupe had ages to put this thing out, especially since the first version was leaked and he was forced to go back to the drawing board. Back at said drawing board, I imagine Lupe, in all his sober intensity and focus, drafting the "perfect album": one that would flow impeccably from track to track, covering all the bases and leaving nothing unsaid, no "concept track" undone. F & L is painstakingly choreographed from start to finish, and let me tell you, it's effing boring. Instead of hitting the studio and knocking out a bunch of bangers, Lupe's tried to make his debut album his magnum opus, and that's something that's never going to work. Don't get me wrong -- plenty of rappers have dropped stellar debuts (most of them, regrettably, never achieve this level of quality ever again), but they're great because they don't feel forced. I predict that Lupe has one or several great records in his future, but in order to make them he's going to have to let himself make art and forget about being better than Nas or whatever.

Chrome Children is out, and people, you need to recognize. Stones Throw Records + Adult Swim = Sordid Puppy's wet dream, and you should feel the same. Here's streaming audio, and here are the music videos (as of this post, only one had been released online, but it's fucking J Dilla and it's got jellyfish-sorta lookin things and a fish with a mustache and a giant ice cream cone that wrecks shit so wake the fuck up).

Killer Mike is supposed to have an album coming out sometime in the future, and I'm excited about it. I guess if it never actually comes out, I can keep listening to "My Chrome," which must have dropped a couple years ago, and "Get Em Shawty," which is even older, as far as I can remember. Yes, he's been putting out mixtapes, and hey -- maybe King Kong will just do that forever and never actually make any money.

I'll close this by running down some of the iller ish that SP's been into lately:

• J-Hood & Styles P. - Fuck the Police
• Lupe Fiasco - Real; Sunshine; He Say She Say; Pressure
• The Game - Let's Ride
• Frank n Dank - The Hustle
• Brother Ali - Original King
• Raekwon - Roof Top
• Saigon - Don't Do That
• Purple City - Grind Slow
• DJ Khaled feat Freeway & The Clipse - Where You At
• Obie Trice - Wanna Know
• Luda - He Man; Shakedown
• Lloyd Banks - Whip Pussy
• Nicolay feat Black Spade - I Am the Man
• Rhymefest - All Girls Cheat
• Hi-Tek feat Ghostface - Josephine

Slum Village - Ez Up Motor City Remix

Foodmantooth MV re-up

Frank N Dank - What Up

Roc C feat Aloe Blacc - My Life

Mayday feat Cee-Lo & DJ Craze - Groundhog Day

Sway - This Is My Demo

Now we sip champagne when we thirs-tay

Word of advice: never beat this guy in four-square

I'm not sure if people born on days other than October 3rd do this, but today all of us famous people born on this great day got together and partied like trapperkeeper stars. Here's who showed up:

1. Black Thought and Talib Kweli came wearing shirts that said "cognizant rappers are morally bankrupt too." India Arie was with them, but left after Gore Vidal kept asking her if she was Erykah Badu.

2. Dave Winfield and Dennis Eckersley reminisced about the old days when Barry Bonds didn't have custom-made helmets. Then they organized a game of four-square with Fred, the Brazilian footballer, and Fred Couples. The Freds conspired to rule the court, which angered the competitor in Eck, who threw many baseballs at the Freds' faces. He apologized afterwards.

3. Tommy Lee showed up with Gwen Stefani on one arm and Ashlee Simpson on the other. He's 44 today.

4. Al Sharpton and Stifler became good friends, mostly because both of them were hitting on Neve Cambell, and bonded over the futility of their pursuit (she was with me [1]).

5. Steve Reich DJd, although his experimental minimalism didn't give Chubby Checker a chance to do the twist, which made Stifler try to beat up Reich. Luckily, the oldest guy there, 82 year old Russian bodybuilder Arkady Vorobyov, was on Reich's side, and he proceeded to throw Stifler onto a roof, where Wil Cordero was beating up his wife.

[1] Denise Richards was with me too, but it wasn't her birthday.

Stuff>And>OtherStuff

Jonathan Franzen, gang rapper

The run down:

Willy Clinton viral video: that's what I'm talking bout (and I'm allergic to politics)

Lupe's F & L: solid B grade and a disappointment, although a disappointment I expected (still a disappointment?). Puppy might contest this, let's see.

Salacious Swami Talk of the Town: tremendous

T.O.: might as well stop pretending to play football and start a tabloid about himself

Something Foley, that congressman who resigned after dirty emails sent to 16 year-old page surfaced (don't care enough to link or look up his name): good move bro, the game wasn't for you.

Jonathan Franzen's The Discomfort Zone: a memoir written because a famous novelist wanted to rediscover his inner elitist asshole...and write about birds and how he thinks Charlie Brown is a loser. not worth it. Write another novel for god's sake you asshole.

Laguna Beach Beard Kid busted again: I wonder if he was wearing a top hat at the time.

S.P. News

Respect your son's real father. This movie kicks ass.

Jet Li says Fearless is his last Wushu movie. I guess now he's going to make regular action movies, and I'm not feeling too great about that. Jet Li is awesome.

El-P is dropping a new album soon, apparently. He posted an instrumental track from it on his myspace page, and it's niiiiice. He's also got a blog going, on which he posts about his mustache, smoking cigarettes, etc.

"My new name is Paisley Fontaine." Some douche from UCLA interviews Ghostface. Wu-Tang roll with a real Shaolin monk. That is SWEET. I think this is from the same show when Steve O whipped his phallus out on stage and said he was the new ODB, all while Wu-Tang was doing a tribute to Osirus. I think Raekwon had to be restrained from strangling him.

Forest Whitaker, y'all.

Foodmantooth ain't no political blog, yo, but witness the fitness of ya boy BC. Chris Wallace is a clown.

History>FlavaFlavClock>ClintFace

A required text in your syllabus

Hip-Hop vs. Post-Punk:

Just finished reading Jeff Chang's Can't Stop Won't Stop: A History of the Hip-Hop Generation, and before that, Simon Reynolds' Rip It Up & Start Again: Postpunk 1978-1984. Both of these are books written so that they can be taught in future graduate seminars, where Public Enemy and Public Image Ltd. are taught alongside fucking Kant or something. Reynolds does a much better job of presenting an actual history of a genre of music, even though the one he chose is impossible to define. Chang's "history," on the other hand is, like a menstruating nun: bloated as diggedyshit. He wants to give all of hip-hop a sociological/economic context, because, after all, Rakim's virtuosic wordplay and Dre's Funkadelic samples were obviously directly precipitated by Reaganomics. Also, there is very little about actual hip-hop music. We get Kool Herc, but Chang has to write 40 pages about Jamaican history first. We get Afrika Bambaataa, but not before a few chapters on Robert Moses building highways. Ice Cube and Chuck D get the most treatment in terms of rappers that are less than 50 years old, and rightly so, even though Chang is more interested in how they are "black leaders" or something. But instead of Biggie, Tupac, Wu-Tang, and the shit that anyone less than 30 considers the real heart of hip hop as it is today, there's barely a passing mention. Biggie is literally mentioned once. IN A FUCKING 350 PAGE BOOK ABOUT HIP HOP!! ONCE!!. Chang apparently thinks it's more important to talk about the editorial politics at The Source and Reginald Denny than about the best emcees who ever lived. I mean Chuck D is, well, Chuck D, but in terms of sheer fluid mic prowess if you think he can hold a candle to the next generation of NY rap (Biggie, Nas, Wu) you must be eating paint. The problem with this book is that, ultimately, Chang thinks hip-hop is about politics and race before it's about what it's actually about: music. I would still recommend this book just because there aren't any other histories of hip hop that as well researched as this (actually there aren't really any histories of hip hop at all), but seriously, where's the chapter dedicated to Ghost?

Reynolds, on the other hand, sticks to the meat and fries it (like a corndog). A lot of the postpunk bands ate more speed than an entire graduate math program, so they all had these hilariously high-minded conceits and manifestos. Luckily, he doesn't harp on them, because, you know there's some actual music that he might as well write about. Devo, Talking Heads, The Fall, Brian Eno, Wire--we get the full story on all the heavyweights, but perhaps more interesting were the more stridently avant garde bands that never blew up becuase, like, they insisted on throwing sheep viscera on the audience. Another fun part of this book is keeping track of all the genres Reynolds drops like babies from a stork's beak, if there was free overnight shipping on babies from Amazon.com. A NYTimes critic catalogued the genres: "funk punk," "punk funk," "folk punk," "anarcho-punk," "Hi-NRG," "psychobilly," "angst rock," "trad rock," "death rock," "death disco," "mutant disco," "Teutonica," "Goth," "proto-Goth," "post-Goth," "Oi!" "New Romanticism," "New Rock," "New Americana," "New Pop," "electropop," "synthpop," "synthpop noir," "synthfunk," "avant-funk" and, deep breath, "neopostpunk." Holy fucknugget that's some taxonomical clintitude. But the book's good, esp. if you want to impress the girl with the bangs.

Shaman Work

Shouting out J Dilla is insultingly cliche, but this is the definitive retrospective mix.

Shaman Work is good shit. They're one of few labels putting out consistently solid non-mainstream rap music (make that rap music, period) right now. Pictured above is Shaman Work resident DJ 2-Tone Jones's R.I.P. Jay Dee mix, which is pretty close to flawless. It's the only thing I've heard (I have yet to pick up The Shining) since Jay's untimely passing that's a real testament to his legacy. I was sick of hearing Ebro (that guy from MTV2's Sucker Free who works at Hot97) and the squad of idiots they have hosting Rap City right now shout out Dilla without having anything to actually say about him, and this mix was a real breath of fresh air. It also knocks, which doesn't hurt.

SW is on some tight shit for a lot of other reasons, too, not least of which is the fact that they signed Edgar Allen Floe, who probably has the greatest name in rap. He's actually pretty good, and it would be sweet if he dropped a concept-mixtape series, Poe v. Floe or something. Ess Dub also has this dude named Wale Oyejide, who I think is from Nigeria and makes tight afro beats and sings well.

CL Smooth just released an album on SW, as well, which is the first rapper-from-the-past comeback record that I've heard work. American Me came out of nowhere for me -- it's funny that CL Smooth, who I never really knew as anything more than Pete Rock's sidekick, is still standing, while Rakim (in fairness, he is touring), Kool G Rap, Big Daddy Kane, etc., aren't producing shit. It's improbable, I guess, but CL sounds way better than anyone else I'm hearing out of NY right now, and good for him -- Papoose and Murda Mook and Jae Millz and whoever else (I stopped paying attention, I'm sorry) need to study this.

Finally, I'm feeling Scienz of Life. Lil Scienz sounds like Breezely Brewin if Breeze sounded like Slick Rick, and I'm digging it. I got my hands on The Blaxploitation Sessions, and it's getting rotation. I guess I'd say I haven't felt this good about a label since Rawkus released Soundbombing II; as long as the people in charge as SW can keep their shit together a bit better than those characters, I see big things in their future. There was a time when independent hip-hop labels were bastions of quality, and I used to build my record collections around them. It's been a while since I've trusted any of them (Hiero, Def Jux, EC, Rhymesayers, etc., etc.), and I'm so jaded by all of it that Shaman Work still has some convincing to do, but they're on the right track. And that makes me happy.

Jim Noir - A Quiet Man

S. Puppy likes rap. And other stuff.

Killfuck Soulshitter

KILLFUCK SOULSHITTER is a nickname for any crazily overpowered magical attack in an RPG, either online or off. It dosen't have to be the game's most powerfull spell- just sufficiently powerful enough to ensure its target is totally screwed and without even a remote chance of survival. KILLFUCK SOULSHITTER usually involves fireballs or explosions, or both. I'm fairly sure I heard this used somewhere before, but I don't remember where.

A: Yo man, check out this spell.
B: Yeah, what's it called?
A: KILLFUCK SOULSHITTER

*nearby town incinerates*

That's from UrbanDictionary.com. Blogger won't let me cut and paste the link. I don't know why.

My goddamn iPod just killfuck soulshitted all my music. I can't re-up because my computer is in New York. Now I have to live with the random-ass mp3s I get off of rap blogs. Like Gillie da Kid's (photo above) "Stuntin Like Ya Daddy." Gillie Da Kid says Lil Wayne stole his flow or something. I say Gillie Da Kid sucks at rapping. Steve Jobs is gonna catch a bad one.

S.P. News

There's one really great track on this album -- "Mama" featuring Trey Songz

Furman gets new lease on life, jumps for joy.

Keith Bloggermann

Chrome Kiddies

CDs>Drop>TheyDon'tComeOutLikeGays

I didn't buy this because Timbo's juicin. The grammy should have an asterisk

New shit:

in a rash spending frenzy brought on by a recurring childhood trauma involving fish tacos, He-Man, and Daryl Strawberry, I copped both the new TV on the Radio and the new Yo La Tengo. TVOTR's is called Return to Cookie Mountain and its cover art looks like a sinister bird's nest or something. Kool Keith was obviously behind both decisions. It's poised to claim album of the year honors from people who still think indie rock is, like, the serious shit--just about everything I read about it when it came out in the UK a few weeks ago was slobbering helmet buff [1]. So naturally I had to have the actual cd to blast in my Altima (so that when I stop at a red light and some cornshit's blastin Timbuh (lake + land) I can yell at him: "these guys are black!") I've done all that and frankly It doesn't live up to critical hype. It is very good, but like the other TVOTR records, its is a cold, cold thing. I might be more into it if there were a few guitar solos or something, or a guest verse by Young Joc, but as it is, RTCM is a mass of grey fuzz and very high singing by the guy with the huge beard. Worth owning, but it's not like they just dropped Van Halen.

YLT's is called I'm Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass and it looks cool. Its red and shiny and shit. Me like shiny. My dream is that people who listen to rap realize that YLT are great, even though they sometimes sound like happyfuntime music, which makes XXL cover-scowls impossible. This might never happen, unless a Best of NJ album drops, with Redman and Joe Budden trading verses over a languorous YLT baile-funk track. Man would I ever listen to that. Anyway, INAOYAIWBYA starts out with 11 minutes of guitar noise, but there's a beat behind it, so don't get your My Bloody Valentine Thong [2] in a bunch. Plus, there are 15 tracks, you're allowed to masturbate lazily on one of them. There are a couple of bangers (relatively fast songs) in here, notably "I Should Have Known Better." Currently "Stockholm Syndrome" from I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One is the most played song on my iPod, but I can see "I Should Have Known Better" overtaking it. [3]

[1] This is the same thing that happened with last year's undisputed champion, Late Registration, which was so universally and inexplicably adored by critics. I bought it, liked it for a while cuz it after has fucking beats on it, but then I realized what critics willingly ignored: that Kanye is barely a mediocre rapper. And there was all this "oh it's ok that he's so cocky cuz he backs it up!" and "Kanye was so funny on The College Dropout but now he's gonna get serious and give us some heavy messages," such as the fact that the CIA obviously makes crack and floods the ghetto with it. Then he's on the cover of Rolling Stone as Jesus and not joking AT ALL. That would have been okay only if Lil Kim was also on there as the Virgin Mary. Now I can't listen to that album and I can't look at him without being desirous of a mace with which to bludgeon him ("Through the Wire" was a good song). Rockist critics just wanted sooooooo badly to embrace a rap album and call it a break through masterpiece. Funny they chose one that's barely decent.

[2] Two references to thongs in two posts! Someone needs to switch to hot pants.

[3] I follow my most played iPod list like HR stats. "Pavement hit two more this weekend, probably played the Royals;" "That GZA song hit one the other night, man that shit has been around since Julio Franco. Ha, he hit one too. Guy's 48! I repeat, 48!"

S.P. News

Bizarre, awesome. Apparently it's a trilogy.

Manohla Dargis doesn't like "The Black Dahlia." Scarlett weeps, leaves Hartnett, declares love for canine blogger.

I'm sure my boy Steve wouldn't have wanted to be commemorated like this...

Watch college football this weekend.

Peedi Peedi stands up for Jay-Z. Peedi Peedi is a good rapper.

I used to check this site back in the day for gear...apparently after I stopped paying attention they stepped their game up a bit. Just a bit.

At Times I See the Mirror and Tell Him He Doin Good

Awesome

Rap on the internet is weird. If you frequent the massive blogspace devoted to hip-hop, you probably encounter the same four or five basic threads over and over again, no matter where you visit. You've inevitably been exposed to the neverending rumor mill surrounding the potential release of a new Jay-Z album. You've heard of Lupe Fiasco, who is good, but I refuse to believe that this amount of hype was ever good for anyone. You've been informed as to who (whom?) Jim Jones is threatening to beat up this week, or who's the latest G-Unit affiliate who'll never release an album. I could go on and on; point is, very, very little room is devoted to actual music, and unless these bloggers cop on to themselves, I see the whole thing imploding in a mind-numbing maelstrom of shit like this. Ish like that (this?) seems harmless at first, but it's starting to piss me off. Shouldn't Raekwon be more worried about making sure that Cuban Linx Part 2 doesn't suck than about beating Mike Jones at golf? I was at the Wu-Tang show in Philly when Ghostface called out D4L for contributing to the demise of real hip-hop or whatever. That clip of Rae on the 'way, when you consider it in the context of Ghost's comments, is sort of troubling -- why did he feel the need to get on some bullshit XXL DVD to putter around a golf course? To be funny? Or is it a move he felt the need to make, in an age when it's nearly impossible for rappers to sell major numbers without marketing the piss out of themselves? I mean, literally -- like, marketing their piss. When the beat to "Laffy Taffy" came on at the Electric Factory in Philly, in a typical maneuver, I leaned into my best Fabo impression and paid little attention to what Pretty Toney was saying. Ghost was in the middle of his Fishscale promotional stuff at the time, and for the couple of weeks after the show, I kept hearing cats asking him about his comments. Unsprisingly, he took the diplomatic stance that he wasn't trying to hate, he just loves hip-hop so much, he thinks southern rap is cool, blahzy blah. I forgot about the whole thing until I saw that stupid golf video.

I'm not so ridiculous as to be in denial of the fact that tracks with simple beats and formulaic videos outsell more involved stuff 99% of the time. I was just unaware that someone like Raekwon would feel the need to jockey for screentime with the guy who made this song and signed D4L (and Tigger? Tigger from Rap City???). I thought the dudes from the Clan didn't need that type of exposure, thanks to nerds like me who check for Wu-Tang records like they check for the latest Woody Allen. What I'm saying is, when the nerds with the blogs are the ones not paying attention, it starts to look a little grim for our boys. It's not just Wu-Tang, either (but can we please get a second single off Fishscale? No? Thanks a lot. "Back Like That" really does the album justice); the new Oh No album, Exodus Into Unheard Rhythms, is really nice, and the new Ras Kass could be phenomenal. If you don't spend a lot of time in record stores, hovering over CD racks, you have no idea. The online press (not sure if bloggers count, but for the sake of this, I'm including them) has a responsibility to report on new music, for the sake of consumers and artists, and I'm not seeing it.

Time's come to stop talking empty shit. Furman P. Slothra and Sordid Puppy are dedicated to keeping it real. Foodmantooth will prevail. After all, I'm trying to get some cheddar so I can grab a pair of these...