Remember magazines? So tactile they were, so foldable.
Download - Girl Talk - Too Deep
Anytime some shit I've never heard of is touted by Sporkfuck, I stay away, lest my cred with drug dealers and female boxers be scuffed irreversibly. Same woulda happened with this, esp. considering the name. Although with a tag like that, I thought for sure this was some hardass sludge metal band who likes irony. I've heard "Girl Talk" is a pretty sick board game though.
Turns out this as a mash-up artist from Pittsburgh who threw all this mainstream shit into a Cuisinart and out came a sort of OCD samplefest that, from the few tracks I've heard, is basically the most fun music to listen to since 2 many DJs mashed Christina Ag. with the Strokes or Max Bedroom (S. Puppy's boy) spread 50 on Reznor. Mash-ups usually suck because they're fueled by whimsy and aimed toward novelty (hey what would happen if Stravinsky had Afroman on top of him? no homo btw), and even if they're good, like Dangermouse's infamous shit, they don't hold up too long. This one fares better because it doesn't give any sample more than 15 seconds of fame, and almost everything on here is recognizable by your mailman. On this track, we got Dem Franchize Children, Dipset verses crowded by KRS-one shoutin for jakes, the fucking Beatles and a brilliantly placed Smashing Pumpkins sample that leads to the ending of the track, which warms my heart. Let's just say Pow Wow get's chipmunk'd and introduced to Misha Barton. Rating: James K. Polk
Download - Gnarls Biggie - Crazy Butt
I downloaded this whole album, some from BK dudes name Sound Advice, mostly because Ce-lo looked funny with Biggie's baby-body on the page. The Biggie vocals sound terrible throughout, but this this one is by far the best. It works alright, and putting Biggie on such popular song is smart if you are a DJ seeking blowjobs, but this fails the Van Halen test (I've found that whether or not i'd rather listen to Van Halen over certain music is a kind of telling taste-threshold). Rating: Theodore Roosevelt
Download - Lily Allen - Nan, You're a Window Shopper
Saw this on the horizen a while ago. First team All-MySpace limey dub-popstress retools sports drink tycoon/memoirist's Macy's banger so she can talk horse on her Granny. I mean, you gotta call out granny for buying tampons for no reason and having lumpy ankles. Otherwise she might get all "I'm the shit" and get shot 49 times over a Bingo discrepancy. Trust me, you don't wanna fuck with bingo. She couldn't clear this shit in time for the album drop, so, like the immortal Flow-be, it can't be bought in stores. This is real, by the way. Rating: Millard Fillmore
Download - The Replacements - Alex Chilton
Not a mash-up or a cover, but a great song from one of the drunkest bands ever. A retrospective just came out that's basically my reason for living right now (besides The Hills). The Replacements were originally called the Impediments, but everyone in the band got hammered (the bass player was like 13 at this point) before their first show and as a result, they were blackballed from playing around Minneapolis; so they changed their name. But Whatta song. Rating: John Quincy Adams
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